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Weekly 150: Demetra Perkins (Part III)

A Life Never to be Forgotten

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When Demetra died in 2019, the Perkins family received countless remembrances and condolences.
Mona Martin Batchelor provided an anecdote that truly tells the story of Mrs. Perkins:
I knew early on that McKenzie Elementary School would have a new teacher in the third grade for the coming year and that I had hit the lottery. Mother received a phone call and I was to be in her class! The funny story was that she had to ask around to find out who M A R T I N, R A Y M O N was. No one knew of a little Martin boy named Raymond. Miss Perkins finally discovered that, my parents wishing for a boy, had named me Raymona, rather than Ramona. Mystery solved.
From that moment on, for the rest of the summer, I put my ear to the ground. I planned to learn everything I could about my new teacher. By listening carefully as the adults talked (that’s how we gathered information in those days), I managed to learn that her husband was a man I heard on the radio sometimes. I also learned that she was tall, beautiful, and fashionable. Finally, I learned that I would ‘learn’ about Betsy when school began.
The first day of school arrived and I strode into third grade with that same air of confidence I had gained from “Miss” Sue Kelley back in second grade. Note, I come from a strong primary education game, if there were any doubt.
Was I surprised to discover that ‘Betsy’ was Miss Demetra’s left arm that simply refused to grow after a childhood illness? No, not at all. Miss Perkins made certain that we understood Betsy made her unique rather than limited. Within the first day or so of school, she was demonstrating how she could tie her shoes and challenging us to learn her method of one hand tying.
Throughout that year, I flourished. Miss Demetra’s class was edgy, innovative. We learned Spanish that I recall to this very day. When she could not find a direct translation for Raymona, she named me Rosa, and I liked it.
Someone reminded me last week of her bringing Alpha-Bits cereal to class and doling it out to us for spelling/reading practice. Afterward, we got to “Eat our Words!”
I remember spelling bees every Friday, something I loved. I remember always being challenged, and I remember basking in the glow of a woman who loved her students, a woman who always went the extra mile to make each student feel special.
Cathey Stambaugh told of Demetra’s true love of humanity, “Every time I saw Mrs. Demetra she always had a smile on her face and was always so very kind. After I broke my arm and had a screw put in, I was at church and my shoe was untied. She told me, ‘Cathey your shoe’s untied.’ I told her Jimmy was at the back of church talking and I was going to get him to tie it. Well she sat down and tied my shoe and told me I could do anything, don’t blame my broken arm... Boy I really felt bad but from then on I stopped feeling sorry for myself and found out she was correct!”
Paul Motheral wrote of Demetra, “She had become over the years a very deal person in my life. A quick wit and devastating sense of humor with perfect timing. One day I drove her to Memphis for a CAT scan during her battle with cancer. She always liked to go out to eat, and as it was time to drive home, and the two of us were discussing what our options were, I asked her if she had ever been to Bozos in Madison, Tennessee.
Being from Gibson, she told me that when she would be driven by her parents to Memphis during her treatment for Polio. Her parents would take her to Bozos, and the ladies who worked there would dote on her and pack extra treats in a bag for her.
When I said to her, “Let’s go!” Demetra paused and with astonishment said, “Really?” She was afraid it was too far out of the way. We made up out minds and I set the GPS. Demetra could not have been happier.

We went in, and she of course never knew a stranger. She spoke to everyone in there. When it came time for dessert we each had a piece of key lime pie, and on that day it was the best pie either of us had ever had. When I pulled in her carport she said to me, “Paul for the rest of my life I will never forget this days.” Tears are falling as I write this. I will miss you Demetra. Thank you for being so good to me.
Gail West made a comment that was a true testament of Demetra’s life, “Demetra’s impact for good in this world can never be measured. To meet her was to be inspired by her. To know her was to know grace, dignity and the force of sheer determination embodied. She influenced so many who have, in turn, gone on to influence so many more. The ripple effect of Demetra Perkins will go on forever as will her example of faith and faithfulness.”
In his eulogy, Terry Howell, who called Demetra a friend, colleague and mentor, said she had “A Life Well-Lived.” The following is excerpts from his eulogy:
“She was quarantined in a hospital in Memphis for a year with the prognosis that she would never walk, had movement or live a NORMAL life. And you know the doctors were correct. She did not life a NORMAL life: she lived an EXTRAORDINARY life. She did not just walk: she played basketball, tennis and golf with a condition that many would call a disability but which she could call a challenge.
“I learned a great deal from Demetra during my first year teaching... I needed advice or guidance, she was my font for information. I learned that before the school year began she mad made home visits to every child she would have in class. It was an act of the highest professionalism combining empathy and understand of a child’s background with a partnership with parents or guardians... During my first year I had three classes of language arts that lasted two hours per day each. Grouped according to ability the classes had 38 students in each one. I did satisfactorily with the top two ability groups, but struggled with the third group of poor and reluctant readers.
“After six weeks of frustration, I went to Demetra, the reading guru, and begged for advice. She told me to address the needs of each individual student, not my perception of what the group needed. With that she invited me to observe how she individualized instruction for all students. So I learned about phonics, pretests-posttests, fluency, contextualized reading and dozens of other techniques to motivate readers. It was a religious responsibility to treat others with respect, with humanity and with selfless devotion...
“I have so many personal memories about Demetra over the years:
1. I remember attending the St. Jude Classic in Memphis with Demetra and friends. She enjoyed the sport of golf as a participant and spectator.
2. I remember writing a play with Demetra and Glenda Rich for our church’s 125th year anniversary. We particularly enjoyed including the story of two women who wanted to be the first to get married in the church that was renovated in 1892. They drew straws to determine the one that would be first. The back story is the second place bride sneaked in the day before and was married in order to be the first. Why this play wasn’t picked up on Broadway is a gross miscarriage of justice.
3. I remember sitting near Ed and Demetra at Bethel basketball; no wallflower there she wanted her beloved Wildcats to win. Years earlier they traveled to some dangerous places to support their beloved teams.
4. I remember trading grammatical faux pas that we had heard or seen in writing. For Demetra to hear or see a grammatical or usage error was the equivalent of finger nails running down a chalkboard.
5. The loving wife, mother and grandmother that she was is a special memory. To see Ed and Demetra at Bethel games, Rotary functions and church events is a special memory. How appropriate that they were induction together in the Bethel University Sports Hall of Fame. Demetra was always Dee Ann’s greatest advocate providing opportunities to grew and become the person that she is today. Poor Dee Ann had me as a teachers in the 8th, 9th and 12th grades. Ed and Demetra never missed a parent-teacher conference, forever concerned about how well she was doing and her preparation for post-secondary education. And for Drew, both Ed and Demetra relish in all that she has done in her young life not in a bragging but in an excited way at all the possibilities that will come her way.
“As much as I learned from observing her at school and in the classroom and in the world, I think she saved her greatest lesson to the end. No doubt she taught others how to live with honor, integrity and class. But the past five years she had taught us even more: how to live with courage and optimism and fearlessness – the same indomitability of spirit that she displayed all of her life. Today is not an end. The larger than life spirit of Demetra Perkins lives on in all of those who knew her and loved her. Thank God for this special person, this special fit to us.”
Since her passing, awards and funds have been established to honor the legacy and spirit of Demetra Perkins. The Demetra Perkins Future Teacher award is presented to a McKenzie High School student who plans a career in education and embodies the same passion for education as did Mrs. Perkins. The McKenzie Rotary Club, an organization close to the hearts of Ed and Demetra, created the Demetra Perkins Memorial PolioPlus Fund. In her memory of the remarkable lady, each November, the club donates money to help combat the disease, which affected Demetra most of her life.