Getting Old

Today is my birthday, I’m almost 40 and I feel it.

I’ve been reflecting on life thus far.

My strengths, weaknesses and where I’d like to be versus where I am.

I’m singing a song in the Mistletoe Christmas performance that is a parody of Mariah Carey’s All I Want for Christmas… is YOUTH.

It covers a lot of ailments that plague older people.

The Senior Steppers are behind me acting out each issue, and I’m not supposed to have any of those problems because I’m young… HA.

Let me just say, nothing makes you feel old like having two kids later in life and trying to keep up with them. Getting on the floor with them quickly escalates into a hostage situation, you can’t get up easily and it’s free horsey rides for everyone under 3 feet until someone intervenes.

I’ve been working on my upper body strength for the last 6 years. Yeah, I’ve been lifting weights. They started at 7-8 pounds and now weigh about 50 pounds each. I call them CJ and Savannah.

It’s a strength training program that doesn’t prepare you for anything; except for how to eat cold food, standing up, or not at all.

Another takeaway from the “geriatric pregnancy, two kids 18 months apart mental fitness regiment”, is how to function after 1-3 hours sleep with a foot in your back, a permanent crick in your neck, fueled only by coffee and spite.

And Mommy brain fog is real. Covid brain never made me use the baby wipe on the changing table and the Lysol wipe on the baby, but CJ can attest that those first few months of life were tough.

The second child will never know all the struggles of training “old parents.”

My eyesight was already crap, but the Drs. Spivey have done a great job adjusting my lenses to keep up.

The gray hair and wrinkles showed up at 30… and like a party guest that can’t take a hint… have never left.

So, to say the least, I’m feeling my age.

The parody song includes lots of other issues like peeing when you laugh and menopause.

I hope you come to the show, not for me, but to help a good cause.

A Mistletoe Christmas is a Carroll Arts production under the direction of Glynda Rich and Denise Sam. They always gather amazing musical talent to fill the evening.

The show is Thursday, December 5 at 7 p.m. at McKenzie Park Theatre. Admission is $7. Tickets available ahead of time from Leigh Goodwin 901-481-5859 and Carol Armpriest 731-393-3048.

I have a few tickets for sale at The Banner as well.

Thank you for supporting the arts.

Editor’s Note: I wrote three editorials this week and you usually never hear from me. I write a lot, but most of it never sees the light of day. I hope what I’ve shared this week helps someone and maybe gives you a laugh. Have a good Thanksgiving.