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Graveyard Sale
From the Aug 13, 2024 e-EditionThose big shots up in Washington
are in a raging stew;
The Bureaucrats are running out
of ample revenue.
I picked up the morning paper,
and this is what it said -
They've figured out a way to tax us
even when we are dead.
There'll be taxes on your phone bill
when your folks make your last call;
There'll be taxes on the fuel and hearse
that come to make the haul.
There'll be taxes on the payroll
of the undertaker's aide,
And there'll be taxes on the organ
when your funeral march is played.
There'll be a tax man standing
at the register of your wake,
And I'm sure he'll have it planned out
how more taxes he can take.
There'll be taxes on your flowers
and taxes on your bier,
And there'll be crying taxes
for every little tear.
When they get you to the church house, before they sing one verse,
They'll charge a little extra
just to open up the hearse.
The six men who come to tote you
will stand outside the door,
While taxmen try to figure out a way
to tax this friendly chore.
When you reach the cemetery,
before they let you down,
They’ll add on a planter’s tax,
then put you in the ground.
When your rites have been completed,
on your tomb they’ll place a cup,
And each day your guardian angel
must come by and ante up.
And if for any reason
one day he should fail,
They’ll start to advertising
a great big graveyard sale.
It won’t make any difference
if your loved ones stand depressed,
They’ll have your grave reopened
and your body repossessed.
They’ll scrap your pretty coffin
and make kindling from the box;
They’ll put gold teeth and jewelry
in a safe up at Fort Knox.
They’ll remove the vaults and line them up like military ranks;
Then they’ll advertise and sell them
as super septic tanks.
They’ll sow each lovely flower bed
in kale and collard greens,
And lease the cemetery out
for wheat and soy beans.
Please don’t think I’m crazy
just because of what I’ve said;
They’re gonna keep on taxing us
long after we are dead.
The thoughts of such is bad enough
to make us weak and pale;
Don’t be surprised to see a sign
“Come to the Graveyard Sale”.
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Print Issue: 8-13-24
In the e-Edition
McKenzie Banner August 13, 2024
Aug 13, 2024 · Read the full issue →
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