Christmas Always Makes Me Cry

Well, I wasn't going to run this until next week, but then Mrs. Robye Lindsey died, and the air left the room again. Is 2024 just taking all the good ones? I thought 2023 was savage, but here we are.

There will never be another one like Mrs. Robye. I loved her so and she seemed to love everyone. She loved you without conditions. Always all smiles, and she gave the best hugs.

For such a tiny little woman she could fill a room with warmth. You never felt like a stranger around her.

There's so much more I could say, but if you knew her, you already know the words.

To her family, I'm so sorry for your loss and the timing here at Thanksgiving. Praying that your holiday is filled with happy memories, laughter and love.

RIP Mrs. Robye.

This song has been stuck in my head for a week or so as I reflect on the family and friends that are no longer with us.

“It’s all red and gold and Nat King Cole and tinsel on the tree; It’s all twinkle lights and snowy nights and the kids still believe; And I know that they say, ‘Have a happy holiday;’ And every year, I sincerely try. Oh, but Christmas, it always makes me cry. It’s the ones we miss, no one to kiss under the mistletoe; Another year gone by, just one more that I, I couldn't make it home; [...] It seems like everybody else is having fun; I wonder if I'm the only one. Who’s broken heart still has broken parts just wrapped in pretty paper. And it’s always sad seeing mom and dad getting a little grayer; And they always say, ‘Have a happy holiday;’ And every year, I swear I sincerely try; Oh, but Christmas, it always makes me cry.”

Songwriter Credit: Shane Mcanally, Brandy Clark, and Kacey Musgraves.

As you get older, you realize the past really was the good old days. It may not have been perfect but beautiful in its imperfections.

One line hits harder than any other, “And it’s always sad seeing mom and dad getting a little grayer.”

No one prepares you for the gut punch that is seeing your parents aging.

Knowing from experience what is coming, after you lose that first person that is close to your heart, every other loss compounds the heartache.

Like a waking nightmare, powerless to stop it, you don't know how much sand is left in the hourglass.

And you desperately cling to every moment. Trying to memorize every facial expression, hoping the picture never fades from your mind. And you know it will, because it has before.

I wish I had memorized every fleck of color in Granny’s eyes and the way Grandmother scrunched up her lips and squinted her eyes and smiled when she was being funny, which was often.

Those memories are still there but like taking a bad eraser to them… they seem to blur and fade with time.

Why does our brain hold on to the mundane, useless things but discards the real treasures in life?

Maybe because the heart doesn’t tell the brain what’s truly important. Maybe we don’t know the value until after they are gone.

All this to say, hold on tightly to the ones you love.

Treat this Thanksgiving and Christmas like it’s their last because it may very well be.

Call your loved ones. Suck it up buttercup, walk it off, swallow your pride and CALL THEM.

Future you will thank you for it.

Even if it’s a train wreck, hold your tongue and your temper, and leave on good terms.

You can do this.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving and safe travels.