Masks

I’ve written about suicide, talked to people about suicide, been in schools and work settings to help them formulate a plan for dealing with losing a coworker or student to suicide, and I’ve counseled untold numbers of people left behind in the aftermath of suicide.

I’ve also worked with people in the aftermath of a mass shooting event.

You know what? I don’t have the answers to the questions everyone asks.

What I DO know is that everyone needs to be more attentive to the people around them.

Listen better.

Tell people what it is about them that you appreciate or love.

Ask them to do things with you.

Share pieces of your life with them so they know your life isn’t perfect.

Get your head out of your phone and pay attention to any changes in them and ask if anything’s going on.

If you have a relationship with Christ that has brought you peace and contentment, share that with them in a calm and reasoned manner, and don’t get offended if they don’t want to hear that. It’s okay. You’ve planted a seed, and that’s enough.

What shocks people sometimes is when a person commits suicide who always seemed happy, positive, and joyful and never appeared to be depressed. That’s because we all wear masks.

Because of that, let me share with you what those masks of depression and distress look like:

Sad and tearful. This face is easy to recognize because this is how we expect depression to look.

2. No interest in doing anything. Unfortunately, we sometimes mistake this for a boring, uninteresting person.

3. Withdrawn, few friends. This can be mistakenly seen as someone who doesn’t want friends and is stuck up. The opposite is the truth. It’s that they’ve given up on making friends.

4. Normal. They seem to function fine in life. A solid student or worker. Committed to family. Friendly.

5. Jovial/Always happy. It’s like they have no problems at all. Everyone envies their positive attitude and likes to be around them.

You see? Depression and distress look like all those things.

YOU CAN’T KNOW what’s going on with a person if you don’t know them, and even then, they might keep the truth hidden from you. But at least we can all try harder.

* Taken from The Wit and Wisdom of David Johnson, Volume 1: I Didn’t Know Donkeys Could Laugh.