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Hunker Down with Kes

Oh, Say Can ‘They’ See

By Kesley Colbert
Posted 1/8/19

Am I the only one confused here? It is a federal government shutdown! That’s what they’ve advertised from the beginning. But apparently, not everyone is going home. We’ve shut down …

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Hunker Down with Kes

Oh, Say Can ‘They’ See


Am I the only one confused here? It is a federal government shutdown! That’s what they’ve advertised from the beginning. But apparently, not everyone is going home. We’ve shut down the National Parks and a selected agency here and there—and left Washington pretty much alone! We should have known! There is no way on earth we could get that lucky!

It seems, even in closing, our fearless leaders got it backwards. Which had you rather see; a herd of iconic buffalo roaming through Yellowstone Park...or congress and the White House deciding what is “best” for us!

When the lumber company had that walkout back when I was a kid, everybody was out of work. It didn’t matter if you hauled logs, pulled on the green chain or was the first shift foreman, you didn’t get paid. Everybody went hungry. Now folks, that’s a shutdown!

Our government puts on a shutdown and they allow parts of the outfit to remain on the job. Their terminology is “not essential” versus “non-essential”. One group is out of luck, the other still goes to work everyday. It’s splitting hairs to the nth degree and, naturally, legislated in a shroud of gerrymandering gobbledygook.

That’s what these elected folks do. And we should be proud of them for how well they do it! There ain’t no other country even in their league. They can elaborate on the simple. Expound on the present. Postulate on the future. Blame the opponent. Praise the party. Straddle the fence. Serenade the benefactors. Appraise the political barometer. And unabashedly take credit for tax cuts, higher wages, universal health care, Mother’s Day, winning World War II, free Garth Brooks’ concerts...

Avoiding a total government shutdown (that would include them) ain’t no hill for this group.

They may not get paid immediately. But an assemblage that ultimately votes on their own salary will come up with the “right” plan. Money will be appropriated from somewhere. And it won’t take a congressional investigation to figure out who will ultimately foot this bill...

’Course, I kinda agree with Will Rogers, we need to be thankful that we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.

But let me tell you, an all out government shutdown, if even temporary, is a wonderful thought. A respite from lawmaking could be exactly what this nation needs! Send’em all home! Both sides of the aisle! Let’em mingle with regular folks. Shucks, they might even discover that grassroots is not a political term.

Think how quiet it would be. Everyone could back up and take a deep breath. You can almost feel the calm. We don’t have a clue if silence is really golden...we haven’t heard it in so long!

CNN and Fox News could show “My Friend Flicka” reruns. We’d all be better off. “Face the Nation” could interview Brenda Lee and Alan Jackson. We might actually learn something useful. Newspaper editorials could focus on Alabama football and Aunt Bessie’s Lemon Icebox Pie recipe.

This “no government” idea could blossom into an enlightening change. I don’t see how it could possibly hurt! You talk about a fiscally sound proposition. And our children might realize the fundamental needs of this great nation are not up for debate on the Senate floor. Plus, wouldn’t it be a hoot to see these “elected at the highest level” folks brought back down to the same planet the rest of us are living on.

Too good to be true! Fairyland stuff you say! Well, you’re right of course. Believe me, the “powers to be” don’t want us messing with the deal they’ve got going! That’s why a genuine shutdown is out of the question.

I’m not sure how running a country got so big and complicated. We had more or less an invisible government back when I was a lad. We didn’t know the difference between a Republican and a Democrat. We didn’t know the Senate had its own president or that there was a whip in the house. If congress could just keep hog prices from falling off a cliff, things were alright in our little corner of the universe.

Ike was always smiling. Gas was twenty-five cents a gallon. A Coke cost a nickel. We got S and H Green Stamps with every purchase. I don’t know how you can make life any better than that.

I’m willing to take a chance on a real shutdown if you are. It might shake some common sense into a few of them. Who knows, they might even take a look at the current hog market...



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